Welcome to the August 2014 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Friends
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared stories and wisdom about friends.
When I found out I was pregnant, I looked around and realized that I really didn’t have a strong support system of mama friends. I did have a couple of friends with children but they were already a few years old which didn’t make them ideal playmates for my daughter-to-be. I did have a couple of friends who were pregnant at the same time as me, but schedule wise and geographically, I knew we wouldn’t get to spend a lot of time together.
I wasn’t too worried about it though. I figured someway, somehow I would manifest some friends for my daughter and that by sheer luck, their mamas and I would become friends as well.
Apparently it isn’t easy to make mama friends, or so I was told. But you know what? I have actually formed some incredible friendships over the past five years. It basically came down to being in the right place at the right time. Oh, and having a blog helped a wee bit too!
Honestly, I am very blessed to have made the friendships I have in the past five years. I do believe that my situation is a tad unusual – Tiny has made great friends and at the same time, I have made amazing mama friends. I think it is rare to strike gold this many times.
I have no secret formula really. One dear friend I met at a La Leche League meeting when our babies were just a couple of months old. We got to know each other a bit through the meetings and then I ended up watching her son a couple of days a week. Her boys and my daughter are good buds and Sarah and I get a long fabulously! Even are husbands like each other. Another plus.
I made a really dear friend in my husband’s co-worker’s wife. Her children and my daughter are very good friends and Amie and I are each other’s sounding board. Since our husbands are in the same line of work, we understand each other’s frustrations. It was just by chance that we were introduced (a couple of months before Tiny was born) and she was a rock for me during that first year of motherhood. Seriously. She’d been through it, was pregnant again, and was a straight shooter. I am forever grateful for this. She was also my exercise buddy and without her, I doubt I would have managed to walk 20 miles per week!
I met two of my soul-sisters because of blogging. Emily (from Recipes to Nourish) and Lauren (from Spiral Elixir) are two incredibly special people both to me and to the world. Because of them, I have grown and stretched as a person. I have had a shift in my worldview because of their inspiration. And to make it even better, both of their daughters are Tiny’s little soul sisters. Now, I have yet to get us all in the same room but I assure you, the energy would be incredible! These two dear friends of mine do need to meet! It really blows my mind just how powerful these friendships are.
And then again, thanks to blogging, I ended up in a local Facebook group where I picked up butter from a butter buy at a house just around the corner. Turns out they are super cool peeps with two lovely daughters. Tiny asks to play with them every day and I love the fact that even though we live on a busy street, Tiny will have neighborhood friends to grow up with. And let me tell you, these girls are sooooo silly together. They just have FUN! And best yet, I can shoot the you-know-what with their mama for hours and hours and we won’t run out of things to say! I also think she would be super fun to go out on the town with if we can pry ourselves away from our littles long enough.
Making friends as an adult is pretty hit or miss. We seem to like to cling to those tried and true friendships of old. And while I love all of my long-time friends and truly wish I could see them more often, I am grateful for all of my new friends. I have a solid support system, mamas I can call on, and friends that Tiny simply adores. Yes, I am blessed.
Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be updated by afternoon August 12 with all the carnival links.)
- Sibling Revelry — At Natural Parents Network, Amy W. shares her joy in witnessing the growth of the friendship between her two young children.
- Making New Mama Friends — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama muses on how she was able to connect with like-minded mamas and form deep friendships both in ‘real life' and online. Learn how these life-long friendships, both between Jennifer and other mothers but also between Jennifer's daughter and the other children, formed and flourished.
- Family, Friends and Family Friends — Vidya Sury at Vidya Sury, Going A-Musing, Collecting Smiles is reflecting on family friendships, past and present.
- Arranging friendships in a modern world — From a free-range childhood to current parenthood, how can an introvert like Lauren at Hobo Mama navigate the newly complicated scheduling of playdates and mom friends?
- Mommy Blogs: Where Moms Make Friends — Mothers make friends with other mothers in new ways. The options from earlier decades remain, but new avenues have sprung up with mommy bloggers. Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. at Parental Intelligence shares her thoughts.
- Friendship and Sacrifice: Guardians of the Galaxy — Shay at 4HisGlory learned that friendship lessons can be found in unlikely places, like blockbuster summer movies.
- Friendship – Finding, Forming, Keeping, and Wishing — Life Breath Present‘s thoughts on finding, forming, keeping, and wishing for friendships as an introvert.
- Consciously Creating My Community: Monthly Dinners — How have you intentionally created community? Dionna at Code Name: Mama‘s goal for the year is to cultivate community. One way she's done that is to help organize two different monthly dinners with friends.
- Adults need imaginary friends, too — Tat at Mum in Search shares why it's a good idea for adults to have imaginary friends. You get to meet Tat's friend and download a playbook to create your own.
- Friends Near, Friends Far — Kellie at Our Mindful Life helps her kids keep in touch with friends 600 miles apart.
- Which comes first, social skills or social life? — Jorje of Momma Jorje frets about whether her daughter can learn social skills without experience, but how to get good experience without social skills.
- Snail Mail Revival — Skype isn't the only way to stay in touch with long distance friends, That Mama Gretchen and her family are breaking out the envelopes and stamps these days!
- Montessori-Inspired Friendship Activities — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares a roundup of Montessori-inspired friendship activities for home or classroom.
- How I used the internet to make local friends — After years of striking out at the park, Crunchy Con Mom finally found some great local friends . . . online!
- My How Friends Change — Erica at ChildOrganics knows entirely too much about how to comfort a friend after a loss.