When Life Gets In The Way Of Motherhood

When Life Gets In The Way of Motherhood:

I do not discuss my personal life on this blog. Sure, I delve into some things as it relates to topics I write about, by my blog is not an account of my daily affairs or the ebb and flow of life.

While I won’t get into specifics, I will share with you that life has been a series of challenges over the course of the past two years. It seems like I clear one hurdle just to be presented with another one. When it rains, it pours right? Well, let’s just say that 2012 has been the mother of all monsoons.

And this got me thinking…

Life really gets in the way of motherhood. It gets in the way of how I would like to mother Tiny. It gets in the way of simply enjoying being Tiny’s mother. Just when I see the opportunity to carve out a few days to just “be” with and completely present for Tiny, something seems to bring that to a grinding halt.

Enter guilt…

I enjoy being Tiny’s mother with all my heart. I just deeply wish I could enjoy Tiny more. I wish that life would allow me the space to catch my breath so that Tiny and I can enjoy some peace and calamity together. I feel so guilty sometimes that Tiny has to share me with the challenges life has thrown our way.

Enter the voice of reason…

I expressed my frustration to my mother who had some very sage advice for me. She said that as Tiny’s mother, it is my responsibility to guide her through these challenges, showing her how to cope with and grow from them along the way. There is not another way for her to experience this side of life.

My mom is right. Life is not rainbows and glitter. It is also not a giant monsoon. It has its periods of discourse and its periods of harmony. We happen to be struggling through a period of real discourse right now. The guilt I feel is a function of the high ideals I have about how motherhood should look for Tiny, especially since she is in her formative years while all of this is going on around her. I need to let that guilt go because it is only weighing me down. I have enough weighing me down without useless guilt.

Tiny is not oblivious to the craziness going on around her. She is a part of it. My job is to guide her through it, help her understand it, and when needed, help her heal from it. Because that is what motherhood is all about. I am supporting Tiny as she grows and everything we are dealing with is part of that.

Looks like I just might be growing too…

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  1. Thanks! This was just what I needed to hear! :)

  2. IT would be nice to divorce the two. regular life and raising kids life. Alas ’tis not to be. Hang in there, and as my mom would say “one for dollar” aka one step in front of the other.
    Good post

  3. Very wise! We can’t parent in a vacuum, can we? Sorry for the challenges you’re going through, but your mom’s right in that you’re modeling for Tiny how to go through them.

  4. Beautiful lesson, Jennifer! This is why I think it is important to allow our children a glimpse when we are breaking down… to see that we do pick ourselves up and make it.

    So many parts of parenting would be easier without all the guilt we give ourselves!

  5. You have a very wise mama :) So glad I found your blog. Am officially stalking you now.

  6. You have a very wise mama :) So glad I found your blog. Am officially stalking you now.

  7. This is so true, and applies so well to our chaotic life right now. For a while I kept telling myself that I would be better once things settle but the reality is that I needed to settle within my own self in order to weather our difficulties properly and still be the parent I wanted to be. I had to slow down in my own mind and not sweat the small stuff and take it day by day to really see that things weren’t all that bad, and that we could get through them as a family.

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