The Unconditional Love Challenge – #4

Photo Credit: Music and Lyrics Blog


Welcome back to The Unconditional Love Challenge. For those of you just joining me here is a little background on what this challenge is all about: Inspired by Dr. Laura at Aha Parenting, I have created The Unconditional Love Challenge. This is a 10 part challenge based on Dr. Laura’s series on Ten Steps to Unconditional Love. I will be posting challenges and results on the 1st and 3rd Monday of each month giving you two weeks to tackle each step. You can work as quickly or as slowly as needed.

Got it? Good!

Two weeks ago I issued a challenged designed to help you make yourself a priority at least THREE TIMES in one week by doing ONE simple thing. How did that go? Were you able to do it?

I did. It was nothing short of a miracle but I did it! I actually took two walks by myself, read a trashy magazine, sent some emails to friends I have been neglecting, had a phone conversation with a friend, AND, you ready for this…took a shower, a looooong shower, BY MYSELF! Ok, so I cleaned it while I was in there but that puppy needed it. Two birds – one stone – still a happy mama.

It did take some effort on my part to make all this happen. I had to work with my mom’s schedule, my husband’s schedule and Tiny’s needs. I also did not want to disrupt our normal rhythm too much. However, I was able to make it happen. I had to force myself NOT to get involved in my to-do list as that is my easy default mechanism. I must say, it felt good to get to do a few things I have been wanting to do. And that shower….oh my gosh! Heaven!

How did your two weeks go? Were you able to make yourself a priority? Why or why not?

On to Challenge # 4 – Forgive Your Parents For Being Human.

As always, you can read Dr. Laura’s original post here.

From Dr. Laura: Do you ever wonder when those buttons your child pushes were installed?  That’s right — during your own childhood.  If you want to liberate your heart, you have to heal your old wounds. Most of us didn’t have perfect childhoods. Perhaps you got the message that you weren’t good enough somehow.  Too needy, too angry, too selfish, too lazy, too careless…too childish?  Our parents, however well-intentioned, were products of their time, and most of us didn’t get the message that we were wholly loved, human imperfections and all.

Your challenge this week is to move past the wounds of your childhood. Start by figuring out exactly what those wounds are. Why are you carrying around resentment, anger, sadness, etc? After you have acknowledged those wounds, embrace them and realize that they will only make you a stronger, better parent that YOUR parents were. Look at your child and decide if you are going to let the past bogged down the parent you are to him or her. Finally, let go, forgive, and move on so that you can be the best parent you can be.

I am simplifying this quite a bit. Some of you may have some really major work to do and I suggest you visit Dr. Laura’s original post. But for the rest of us, find that ONE button that gets pushed often and work on it. Figure out where it came from. Do you enjoy it or would you rather let it go?

Be the parent your parents could not be and forgive them in the process.

Good luck!

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  1. this is a great series you’ve got going on. Forgiving my parents and living with the scars is one of the hardest things for me. I’m not sure I’ll ever get past this

  2. @Laura Schuerwegen

    Yesterday I read a quote on this exact subject that I found very powerful. It was said by Oprah:
    “Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.”

    This really struck me. The past can’t be changed. What was done is done. Acceptance of this simple fact makes life so much easier. Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to AGREE with what happen, or approve of what happen. But you do have to accept what happened in order to heal/live. Perhaps forgiveness is the same as acceptance of the past?

    I practice this daily when I miss my mom, who died 4 years ago now. It took me a while to get that acceptance of her death doesn’t mean approval. (But life doesn’t need our approval, does it….)

    Anyway I’m really enjoying what I read here and can’t wait to read more. Thanks to both of you!

  3. Oops, meant to sign my comment,

    Carrie :)

  4. I was struggling with finding some ‘me’ time without neglecting my son at the same time since I am ‘single parenting it’ with my hubby deployed overseas currently and was getting frustrated not having someone to take over for a bit. Then I magically remembered how sometimes struggling to begin with is what is causing the trouble and so instead of trying to force a space in my day to do something just for me alone, instead I included my son in my quiet time. I made us some peppermint and nettle tea, put on some soothing music, and just lay on the floor meditating while my son rolled around being goofy on top of me. We did this for an easy 40 minutes. It was divine!

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